Sunday, March 01, 2009

In a Relationship / It's Complicated

For those of you who don't know, the title of this post lists two options under "Relationship Status" in a Facebook profile. If you're Single or Married, everybody probably already knew that. If you're Engaged, people probably knew you were headed in that way. (And I've never seen anybody use the "In an Open Relationship" status. I'm not sure what that even means. "I'm dating fairly steadily but don't worry, I feel okay with dropping him/her at any time if you call me"?) So if you want to create a sensation, your best bet is to change your status to "In a Relationship" or "It's Complicated." 

I've seen this happen multiple times, and I'm always a little surprised by how many people go for it. I've thought about changing my Facebook status to "lonely and bored and need vaildation: please comment on this status," but haven't done it so far. Probably still wouldn't get as much buzz as I would changing my relationship status for the comments, even if the two meant the same thing.

When I first signed up for Facebook, I listed my relationship status as "It's Complicated." I live with a bird who seems pretty sure that I belong to him and who doesn't want to share, so it fit. After I started getting  questions on what that meant, and especially after one of my cousins went to her sister to find out about this mysterious person with whom it was apparently complicated, I blanked out the status.

Realistically, my status should read "In a Relationship," because I am in relationship with every person I interact with--friend, sister, daughter, granddaughter, teacher, employee, co-worker, pseudo-aunt, random acquaintance, etc. But "It's Complicated" would be appropriate, too, because life is complicated and so are relationships. 

I protest being defined by whether or not I'm dating/married/whatever, and I hope that's not for some angsty reason. I hope it is (and/or becomes more and more) for my stated reason. To paraphrase Paul: in Christ there is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, single nor married. When I draw dividing lines, I don't want them to be based on something as small as relationship status.

Especially the Facebook version.

1 comment:

Beth said...

I love this post...although my relationship with Nick is pretty defined, what with the ring and all, I have often thought, well, it's complicated, too...but wouldn't THAT cause a sensation!!!