This is the sort of thing I usually hear (DISCLAIMER--it might not be what is actually said): Men are all sex-obsessed and can't keep their eyes in their heads. If a woman shows any skin or wears clothes that aren't baggy, she is putting the spiritual health of all men at risk. As for women, what they need to hear is primarily how to help men, because men are the ones who have trouble with sexual sin and the odds that women might have any difficulty viewing sexual issues in a balanced and godly way are so low as to be negligible. (I've heard this logic somewhere besides the OPC...hm...where would that have been?)
I always come away thinking, "Okay, okay! I would hate to lead men into sin! I will wear potato sacks if I have to!" and then, "This is probably why I'm not married, because apparently 'men,' and I use the term loosely, don't even look at women who are wearing potato sacks." Oh, the dilemma.
If the only choices are leading men into sin or perpetual singleness, it isn't a choice for me. I'll be single until I die, no sweat. It is easy because I don't want anybody to sin and because I would only ever want to be married to a man, anyway. And to me, anybody who chooses to be restricted and defined by his sin is not living as a real man.
I come away mourning for the ideal of Biblical manhood that is apparently never reached, the stories I don't hear about the men who don't struggle with sexual sin 24/7/365, or who fight on a daily basis and are victorious, or who have fallen and repented and been forgiven. The men who look for spiritual beauty above physical beauty and are able to value and celebrate the latter more fully because the former is present. The men who put God above their appetites. Where are the men?
And I have to stop and list them. My dad. My brother. My grandfathers and other relatives. My friends who have protected me over the years in more ways than one, especially the friends who have shown a high degree of respect towards me and other women. The men who make me proud to be their sister in Christ, who make my heart sing out to God in gratitude that He is indeed bringing His kingdom.
The men are there.
And the women...we have our problems, too.
Way deep down, underneath all our manifest differences, underneath all the conferences targeted one way or the other, we have the same core problems. And the same solution.
2 comments:
It's not one or the other. There are guys who DO struggle with sexual sin and DO see and appreciate true beauty. There are thousands of wonderful men in this world. Just because they may struggle with sexual sin doesn't mean they aren't sincere, honest, godly men who seek purity and who truly love women no matter their looks. You can't say that sexual sin means he doesn't truly love women for who they are.
Oh, absolutely. That's what I was saying, especially when I talked about those who fight and are victorious, or fall and repent and are forgiven. What is discouraging to me is when it's the sin that I hear emphasized over and over. I know so many amazingly encouraging men...I hate them to be reduced over and over to this one sin that's really symptomatic of sins deeper than that (idolatry, for one).
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