What you want

"You already know what you really want, we all do. We just don't listen." -- Chloe Sullivan 

In general, I believe that. We confuse ourselves. We rationalize away the things we really want. Maybe sometimes for good reasons, but maybe it's still best to step back and raise the mental fog and take a good hard look at the things we want and don't have, and at why we don't have them yet. Because that feeling like your brain is going to overload and explode? Maybe that's what happens when you lie to yourself. Maybe the frustration is less related to your circumstances than it is to your reactions to them. 

"These excuses, how they've served me so well 

 They've kept me safe 

 They've kept me stuck 

 They've kept me locked in my own cell" 

-- Alanis Morissette

Or as my dad (a far more reliable source for wisdom than either Chloe or Alanis) put it in his pre-college advice that stuck with me more than any other advice I ever remember getting: "If you want something and don't get it because you didn't try for it, you have nobody to blame but yourself. If you tried your best and didn't get it...well, you tried your best."

Okay. 

Let's try for a few things.