- Moving from strong frugality to outright miserliness.
- Accepting every request to join something or help with something that meets during the day.
- Hyper-over-analyzing every job-related move I make: is this a good one to apply for? is it settling? what is that sinking feeling inside of me and should I trust it or move past it? what's the secret code I have to break on my resume or in my cover letter or in how I present myself that even gets me in the door?
- Telling myself that I'm not all that special, that other people deserve to be hired more than I do, and that just as I was horrible at auditioning (a.k.a. only got cast twice) I will be horrible at interviewing.
- Telling myself that my dreams of supporting myself financially through doing anything that I love are stupidly, childishly unattainable. No matter how much an increase in both deep-seated yearning and outside corroboration tell me that I should at least take a chance.
- Settling back into miserable because I know the shape of it and so it feels safer.
- Allowing self-pity, less over being laid off from this job than over not having people to connect with during the day just by turning around.
Please pray. (And a cheery hello now and then wouldn't go amiss, either.)
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