Secret Decoder Ring

Sometimes it seems like the big things in life are coded. There is a right way and a wrong way to do them and nobody tells you which is which until you're out of the running. "Oh, we would've been friends still, but after you said that I knew we couldn't keep it up." "Oh, we would've hired you if you had replaced the word 'helped' on your resume with the word 'assisted.'"

I (surprise, surprise) like to have the answers to codes or they are not fun. Tell me what you want, what you need, and I can be it. I'm about 97% sure of it. I'm also about 99% sure that I can't read your mind. (I try to shut the other 1% up because it usually gets me into trouble.)

I have an interview tomorrow. Part of me recognizes that I wouldn't want to be chosen for my acting skills unless it was for, you know, an acting job. Which it isn't.

The other part of me is digging for the prize at the bottom of the cereal box.