A Quote

I love this book I am quoting from so much for being hugely challenging in such a helpfully Christ-centered way. I've been getting angsty over my place in the world when my little brother is married and the next wave of marriages are for people almost ten years younger than I am, etc., etc., whine, whine, you've read about it here on this blog before. Anyway, I figured it was time to re-read this book, and I was right. Way to serve up the perspective, Professor Smit.

I'm posting this particular quote because it resonates with thoughts I've tried to express in the past and haven't been able to find the right words for on my own. 

"Other relationships--such as those between children and parents or creatures and Creator--may legitimately begin with need, but they must not end there. If we really love our parents, we will eventually value them for themselves, not just for what they give us or do for us. If we really love God, we will eventually praise him for who he is, not just for what we can get from him. Ultimately, with all love--not just romantic love--we must see and value another person as a person, not just as one who meets our needs. We must interact with others as independent people who are ends in themselves, not means to the gratification of our needs. One woman told of her experience with a dating service. She ultimately decided it was a bad way to meet people because there was no context, because the person was being used as a means to dating. A dating relationship ought to emerge out of a relationship with a person."

-- from Loves Me, Loves Me Not: The Ethics of Unrequited Love, by Laura A. Smit