My First Proposal

This weekend I had my first to-my-face proposal of marriage. From a 15-year-old boy. (Later, he clarified, "You know I was just kidding, right?" But I had picked up on that before the clarification.) Anyway, it was funny, so here it is:


Andrew: "Suzanne, will you marry me?"

Me: [after an abrupt, hysterical laugh] "No, but thank you for being so direct."

Jeremiah: "Not even if you were the last man on earth."

Andrew: "I've always wanted to be the last man on earth, just to test that out...."

How true that is....

In Peter Pan, J.M. Barrie says that children are carefree, and innocent, and heartless. Meanwhile, the adults love the children, despite all that the children are doing to hurt them without caring, without even considering.

Sir James sure knew his stuff.

Maybe from now on I should stick to the jukebox in my head....

This weekend I was talking to my grandmother about computer savviness, and she said that what confuses her now is all the iPod stuff.

In similar news, I am about to swear off downloading any more songs ever because I have been having inordinate difficulties with my downloading software. Grrr.

Insert long, complicated, detailed version of events here. Also, you might as well imagine a satisfying smashing sound. I am.

Halloween Party

I wish I had a Halloween party to go to. Just because today I have my own version of Trill spots. And how would that not be cool to show around?

Hm...I wonder if my spots would run if I go to the gym before I wash my face/neck....

UPDATE

The spots did not run at the gym. However, when someone I know looked through the window and saw me, she thought I had blood running down my face. Which is probably more from the out-of-context factor then from my less-then-Westmore skills.

"No stealing!"

Sometimes fanfiction writers put disclaimers on their stories, as if that would protect them if extremely well-paid lawyers were sent after them.

Frequently, such disclaimers say things like: "The Harry Potter characters don't belong to me. Which is a shame, because then I'd be rich. And I'd really like to have Draco Malfoy, if you know what I mean." I try not to read fanfiction disclaimers anymore because they are usually this idiotic.

A common disclaimer on a fic that contains an original character goes something like this: "Clark doesn't belong to me (boo-hoo), but Jenna does! So no stealing!"

Okay.

First of all, little hyperactive fic writer, stop writing fanfiction just because you think so-and-so is a hottie. Or at least stop broadcasting it. Not even your mom cares.

Secondly, nobody wants to steal "Jenna," who is clearly a Mary Sue character, by which is meant a character that is clearly the author, except an extraordinarily idealized version of the author that exists only in her imagination.

Finally, hello, are you serious? You are writing fanfiction. And if you don't get what I mean by that, you're probably part of the problem.

The lost roots of blessing

I am beginning to feel that "blessing," like "awesome," is a word that has lost its power.

It is not uncommon for me to hear people talking about "looking for ways to bless each other," or asserting that "so-and-so is such a blessing to me." While it is true that the word "bless" carries the meaning of any sort of bestowal of good, in the Scriptural context it is a word most frequently used by and of God. When I went to Bible Gateway and looked up the phrase "bless each other," I found a grand total of zero references. The word most commonly associated with "each other," by the way, seemed to be "love."

People have asked me how they can bless me, and I have never really known how to answer. It's like having someone ask you how to love you. You love someone or you don't. You bless someone or you don't. There is no middle ground. But blessing, like love, is a nicely nebulous concept today, and it is made more so by churchifying the word—ingraining the word so deeply into common church-goer parlance that it cannot be defined.

But then, we don't need dictionary definitions of these words. We know how to love people. We know how to bless people. We know by the means Jesus laid out in all their painful simplicity: "Treat others the same way you want them to treat you" (Luke 6:31).

We love because we are loved first. We bless because we have been blessed. We are not the source of love or the source of blessing, both of which originate with an awesome God. Neither can we rob true love, blessing, or awesomeness of their power, no matter how flippantly we use the words meant to signify them. Still, shouldn't the words carry a reflection of that power?

We are far removed from the Hebrew scribes, who had special rituals that accompanied the writing of the name of God. Is all of that removal to the good?

Tonight's quote

"Guess what? You can put Gambit and Rogue on the same team, and then you can have Scott and Jean on the same team, and they can be boyfriend and girlfriend."

I responded with "What??" but what I meant was "I love you."

Who am I, anyway?

Firstly, everyone reading this should follow the above link, take the quiz, and report back to me with their answers. Go on. This post can wait. Please. Do it for your king.

Secondly, sorry about the awkward HTML. And now for the post.

I love online quizzes. I cannot emphasize that enough. Today my coworker found a "Which Star Wars Character Are You" quiz that spans the whole saga.

My first serious try was a tie...

Your results:
You are Luke Skywalker

Luke Skywalker 73% Princess Leia 73% Yoda 69% Padme 68% Obi-Wan Kenobi 66% Han Solo 65% R2-D2 61% An Ewok 58% C-3PO 54% Anakin Skywalker 51%

You value your friends and loved ones, but can sometimes act recklessly because of your emotions. Occasionally you resort to whining. You look ahead to great things for yourself.

(This list displays the top 10 results out of a possible 21 characters)


Click here to take the "Which Star Wars character are you?" quiz...


...with my second, actually.

Your results:
You are Princess Leia

Princess Leia 75% Yoda 74% Padme 74% Luke Skywalker 72% Obi-Wan Kenobi 67% Han Solo 64% R2-D2 63% An Ewok 60% C-3PO 53% Anakin Skywalker 52%

You are an excellent friend and an unselfish person, yet you like to spend a lot of time on your hair and fashion. You spend most of your time with guys that are too cocky, too hairy, or too related.

And then my coworker asked me to throw the quiz so I got the following, which she feels also applies to me.

Your results:
You are An Ewok

An Ewok 78% R2-D2 73% Yoda 72% Chewbacca 67% Luke Skywalker 66% Han Solo 63% Qui-Gon Jinn 62% Obi-Wan Kenobi 61% Princess Leia 55% Jar Jar Binks 55%

You're a hard worker, cute, and view all your close friends as your own personal tribe. Yub yub!

(This list displays the top 10 results out of a possible 21 characters)


Click here to take the Star Wars Personality Test


Any other great sites I should try out?

From Yahoo News: "Scientists Create Cloak of Partial Invisibility"

"Sightings of translucent men in lab coats reported."

Of course I'm just kidding. Apparently, the invisibility effect works only for "creatures or machines that see only in microwave light." (That quote is for real. Go ahead, click on the link and see for yourselves.)

That is a big draw for me. I don't want whatever is in my microwave able to see me. If somebody put me in a microwave, I'm pretty sure I would want revenge. And what if the combination of microwave radiation, centrifugal force, and just the right secret sauce set off a chain reaction that gave whatever was in the microwave the power to project an image of the oppressor to someone--or someTHING--who/that could avenge it?

I don't know about anybody else, but I do not want to take that chance.

Weird Al has a new song called "White and Nerdy."

Legal music downloading software was made for times like these.

"Love won't save you" ~ Anakin Skywalker

Revenge of the Sith is one of the saddest movies I have ever seen. It is also one of the most gripping. Even with the mediocre acting, sometimes awkward scripting, and overly flashy special effects sequences, the thematic material emerges strongly. I hate that I won’t have time to watch A New Hope for several days.

Over and over, in story after story, we see the darkness, in one form or another. Sauron. Emperor Palpatine. Lord Voldemort. They show no mercy or compassion, even to those who are on their side. They serve themselves, and will cut down their allies on a whim.

Over and over, in story after story, we see the side of the light, in one form or another. Gandalf. Luke Skywalker. Professor Dumbledore. They go to war when forced, and take no joy in it. They believe, in the face of any and all evidence, that their opponents can change, that enemies can become friends.

Where do the two archetypes come from? Why do they keep coming?

I am story-oriented by nature. All of life reminds me of a story, and every story reminds me of life. Sitting in the hopelessness of Episode III reminds me that I know the end of this saga. The darkness seems unbeatable, but it will be beaten.

Or, as the author of the Revenge of the Sith novelization puts it:

"The dark is generous, and it is patient, and it always wins—but in the heart of its strength lies weakness: one lone candle is enough to hold it back.

"Love is more than a candle.

"Love can ignite the stars."

Correction:

There were only 16 kids in my class last week. The kid who had counted everybody on Wednesday said, "There are 14 boys, and 3 girls...I mean...." and it turned out he was counting my co-teacher as a boy but not counting me as anything. I love kids.

10,000 Maniacs

That, my friends, is what it felt like last night as I taught my first group of 5th & 6th graders at church.

"But what are the consequences if I break a rule? I need consequences!" -- Jacob

Then I made a semantic error in asking a room of kids what they want to get out of the class, and got some of the following responses:

• Money
• Candy
• Soon (as in "I want to get out of this class soon")

The class had 17 kids. Only three were girls. I didn't know that until last night. I love boys. I do. They are a lot of fun, and they have great energy. I know that their comments on getting out of class soon are bravado, make-my-friends laugh comments, and I knew it even before I said, "Well, if so many of you really don't like this class..." and at least half of them were quick to respond to the contrary. (There is nothing quite like an expression of total concern on the face of a 10-year-old.) But MAN, it's a challenge to get them to focus. At least the 21st century American version. They talked over each other for almost the entire time. Part of the problem is that a lot of times I want to join in on their conversations, so it's partly a problem of getting the 21st century American me to focus.

My poor assistant made his Harvest Time assisting debut last night. Afterwards, when I asked him what he thought, he said, "I don't know what to think...I think I'm glad I'm not the one trying to teach them."

Now I know the challenges in store. And knowing (I've heard) is half the battle. Onward!

Not that this has happened to me, but...

...did you ever try to communicate on the internet, only to run into the question if true communication is ever possible on the internet, leaving you to wonder if it is a flaw in the medium or you are completely incapable of true communication, possibly in any form?

Yeah, like I said, me neither.

Seriously, I know that I am a highly dramatic personality with a tendency to overstate things, even to myself. But, also seriously, I have been rocked over the past year by challenges to my perceived stellar communicating skills. Turns out many people don't actually hear me, by which I mean they don't seem to understand me.

Then again, listening is as much of an art form as communication. In the past year, I have also encountered individuals who seem to be able to read my mind.

Semi-conclusion: The internet is not necessarily a good place to discuss deep issues with people you don't know, unless you have developed a relationship with them so that in essence you do know them, or at least you know their internet communication style. Such relationships are not to be found upon every mouse click.

It's entirely possible that I have been spoiled by my awesome relationships with most anyone I've ever lived with, such that we can talk to each other and each know where the other is coming from without a lot of false starts or erroneous assumptions on either side. Hm. Why might that be?

"Because you lived with each other for years. Also, a strong common history, especially a positive one, tends to have a diminishing effect on disagreements."

Ah, yes. Thank you for reminding me.

I guess I'll cut the rest of the world some slack, remember that the next mind-reading kindred spirit could come along when I'm least expecting it, and know that even people who can't read my mind can still love me.

"I'm sixteen years old! I'm not a child anymore!"

Yesterday I bought The Little Mermaid on DVD, partly to streamline my VHS collection. I find that I am loath to part with the VHS. I remember getting it. It's the first movie I remember receiving. It would have been—let's see—if the movie was released in 1989, I probably received the video as an 11th birthday present. I remember (from pictures) the presence of Grandma and Grandpa Crowe, Aunt Irene and Uncle Raymond, and Susan. I remember getting a wallet from Grandma and Grandpa Crowe that was blue and had my name stamped on it. I used that wallet for years (until they saw I still had it, semi-flipped out that I was in college but still using a wallet that I had when I was 11, and gave me a new one). I remember a dirt cake in a clay pot. It was my first ever dirt cake. I don't know that I've ever had dirt cake again, actually, but the memory lingers sweetly, far more sweetly than anything named after dirt has a right to linger.

The Little Mermaid was one of my first favorite movies. (The Neverending Story was on that early list, too. This means that two of my favorite movies had a character named Sebastian. I didn't realize that until tonight.) At the time I first saw it, I remember taking Ariel's righteous cry very seriously. Of course she was ready to be on her own. Of course she was old enough to get married. She was sixteen years old! She wasn't a child anymore! Sixteen was very old to me in 1989. It represented everything television and the movies told me it represented. Of course, when I actually turned sixteen myself, I found myself not dating, not fond of driving, and not all that reluctant to accept that my parents knew what was best for me.

In the carefree childhood days of 1989, it was still okay to want to be part of another world. Love at first sight was a given. Marrying a prince you had practically just met was not to be wondered at. Leaving everyone and everything you knew behind...well, that was scary then, too.

In 1991, I would experience a paradigm shift, although at the time I didn't know what "paradigm shift" meant. My favorite animated Disney movie would become my second-favorite animated Disney movie. But for two years, I was Ariel. And, in the sense that every character I have ever loved has become part of my identity, part of me is Ariel still.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to use my dinglehopper and go to bed.

Landunn

Hello. My name is Landunn. I am the second cousin of the person writing this blog. I don’t know why I’m getting so much attention if there’s already a first around somewhere.


Last Saturday, a bunch of people came to my house. I heard they were my relatives. I’m not sure what to think about that.

Being passed around a lot is tiring. People keep saying that Christmas, whatever that is, will be interesting this year. I’m not sure what they mean, but I have a feeling I should get some rest while I can.

Favorite Person of the Day: Micah

Why? Well, if I may steal a Lana-esque way of phrasing things:

Smallville.

Season premiere.

Pancakes.

Smallville is awesome. I love superhero shows, even shows with ridiculous continuity leaps like Jimmy Olsen being about the same age as Clark Kent. It helps when Jimmy Olsen is played by Iceman, who is just one of those all-around likeable types.

And this was the first time I've ever gotten to see a first-run Smallville season premiere on premiere night. I've usually had to wait several weeks. I've been advance-geeking-out about this for weeks, and now I'm post-geeking-out.

So thanks, Micah.

Most Horrifying Thing I've Ever Seen in a K&B Toy Store

Desperate Housewives: The Dirty Laundry Game

Thoughts on tutoring for ESL

I signed up for ESL tutoring for several reasons:

• I speak English
• I majored in communicating
• I thought, "Here is a service I can perform with my gifts"
• I have often feared both commitment and failure, and signing up for five months of ESL tutoring was signing up for ample helpings of both

That last one is really on the list. But I didn't realize it until after I signed up.

Pulling back into observer status, I find myself paranoid that I will (get this) single-handedly screw up this child forever. FOREVER! Me! Ohhhh, the power I wield!

Ha.... I am such a nerd....

As my dad says, this will be a good experience no matter what happens. I hereby choose to define this ESL "experiment" as a success--for me and for Hassan. He is 8 years old, and so he is still in the prime years for language acquisition. He'll pick English skills up quickly, and I will be there to help him when he needs to figure things out. It'll be a learning experience for both of us, in various ways.

*deep breath*

Okay. I'm ready to learn.

Random Acts of Acceptance

The link Brittany provided in the last comment section led me to a page in which a young man said that offering kindness took guts, and so he appreciated it when people (girls, particularly) responded with "thank you" instead of "no, I'm fine."

I was thinking about that today when I was at the home of the Somali refugees my church is helping. The mother doesn't speak English, but when I was standing in her living room she pulled out a chair for me. I resisted my initial impulse to offer the chair to her instead, said "Thank you," and sat down.

I was also thinking about offering and accepting kindness tonight when the man in front of me at the grocery store offered me his place in line. I said, "No, thanks, I'm okay standing in line," and I had to say it more than once. I don't think he was a native English speaker.

I was thinking of the latter incident on the way home when I decided to make a carpooling offer after all, even though I would rather drive solo to my destination tonight.

Thanks for the link, Brittany. It has made me think. :)