"No stealing!"

Sometimes fanfiction writers put disclaimers on their stories, as if that would protect them if extremely well-paid lawyers were sent after them.

Frequently, such disclaimers say things like: "The Harry Potter characters don't belong to me. Which is a shame, because then I'd be rich. And I'd really like to have Draco Malfoy, if you know what I mean." I try not to read fanfiction disclaimers anymore because they are usually this idiotic.

A common disclaimer on a fic that contains an original character goes something like this: "Clark doesn't belong to me (boo-hoo), but Jenna does! So no stealing!"

Okay.

First of all, little hyperactive fic writer, stop writing fanfiction just because you think so-and-so is a hottie. Or at least stop broadcasting it. Not even your mom cares.

Secondly, nobody wants to steal "Jenna," who is clearly a Mary Sue character, by which is meant a character that is clearly the author, except an extraordinarily idealized version of the author that exists only in her imagination.

Finally, hello, are you serious? You are writing fanfiction. And if you don't get what I mean by that, you're probably part of the problem.