Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Not that this has happened to me, but...

...did you ever try to communicate on the internet, only to run into the question if true communication is ever possible on the internet, leaving you to wonder if it is a flaw in the medium or you are completely incapable of true communication, possibly in any form?

Yeah, like I said, me neither.

Seriously, I know that I am a highly dramatic personality with a tendency to overstate things, even to myself. But, also seriously, I have been rocked over the past year by challenges to my perceived stellar communicating skills. Turns out many people don't actually hear me, by which I mean they don't seem to understand me.

Then again, listening is as much of an art form as communication. In the past year, I have also encountered individuals who seem to be able to read my mind.

Semi-conclusion: The internet is not necessarily a good place to discuss deep issues with people you don't know, unless you have developed a relationship with them so that in essence you do know them, or at least you know their internet communication style. Such relationships are not to be found upon every mouse click.

It's entirely possible that I have been spoiled by my awesome relationships with most anyone I've ever lived with, such that we can talk to each other and each know where the other is coming from without a lot of false starts or erroneous assumptions on either side. Hm. Why might that be?

"Because you lived with each other for years. Also, a strong common history, especially a positive one, tends to have a diminishing effect on disagreements."

Ah, yes. Thank you for reminding me.

I guess I'll cut the rest of the world some slack, remember that the next mind-reading kindred spirit could come along when I'm least expecting it, and know that even people who can't read my mind can still love me.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Suzanne we are terrible at communication. We are hanging out tomorrow night anyway though. Let's communicate. Also lets come up with a new inside joke.

Anonymous said...

Suzanne, what a nice post--especially the last paragraph. I think the internet is a bad way to get to know people, but an 'okay' way to discuss ideas. I'm notoriously anal about taking words on the page (electronic or paper) very literally without consideration of what the person actually meant by them. I've adopted Rev. Ray B. Lanning's insight that: "It's not what we mean by our words that's most important; it's what our words can be made to mean that we must be mindful of." So if anyone like me (for instance) has ever in the (not too distant past) seemed insensitive or to be a downright ninny, I do hope you'll not hold it too much against 'him'. I also draw relatively sharp lines between people and their arguments such that even if I were to disagree with you about something, it (mostly) wouldn't enter into what I though of you as an acquaintance and friend-of-a-friend. Warmly, ADR

Thursday said...

Micah. I may have missed the inside joke. Do you remember any new inside joke? Because I don't.

Aaron, I don't see it as possible to separate people and ideas. Hence my concern to meld my perception of the person with my perception of their words on the page. I'd attempt to elaborate, but don't feel up to the task at this point. [See text of post. Also, note time index.]