I don't know about you, but I am a fan of the doomsday scenario. This is when you imagine a worst-case situation and how you would react to it. (I witness a lot of funerals in this way.) Naturally, today's economy fits nicely into gloomy imaginings.
What would I do, I've wondered, if I lost my job? Who would pay me to do any of the things I can do, in any arena of my life? And why? Turns out that I imagine I'm mostly pretty useless. Yeah, in part I do that so I can have the pleasure of there-there-ing myself (a despicable habit) about how many people really like me and appreciate whatever it is I do and want me around, etc., etc., how much food does this giant ego actually need and when will it just shrivel up and die already.... But in part I do it because I don't understand economics and therefore don't understand exactly why we pay people to do what they do in the first place. How did that all get started?
If I lost my job, where would I go? I'm already quite good at saving money, although I'm wasting a lot by living alone and not splitting bills. (I'm also a fan of imagining a commune in which I didn't explode at one or more of my fellow commune-ists within the space of six months. Or, you know, days. Ah, a girl can dream.)
I imagine myself sort of like Renee Zellweger in Cinderella Man, living in squalor and barely making rent until my Russell Crowe started turning things around and winning a few for the Gipper. But then, there is no Russell Crowe figure in my current situation, so that wouldn't actually work.
I imagine me living with various friends and feeling super awkward about it all the time because I have a pathological desire to be self-sufficient and independent and who needs parents, brothers, sisters, friends to help? Not I!
Mostly I imagine moving back to live with my parents. I feel like my world has been shaking a lot over the past year and I'm starting to feel queasy. My parents seem to be just about the only people I have whose relationships with me can't be affected by moving or marriage or anything in between. (It's probably not true. But it feels true.)
Sometimes life makes me tired.
2 comments:
"I don't know about you, but I am a fan of the doomsday scenario. This is when you imagine a worst-case situation and how you would react to it. (I witness a lot of funerals in this way.) Naturally, today's economy fits nicely into gloomy imaginings. "
It's like you're in my head...
I often think of the conversation we once had about our lack of non-industrial-world skills. I was going to be the Xander of the post-apocalyptic society.
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