Yesterday my pastor prayed "for our singles, that they may resist the temptation to self-pity and covetousness," and of course the first thing I did was start to feel sorry for myself, and I had to pray really hard about refocusing and not being mad at this obviously legitimate prayer request. (Somehow nothing shakes my contentment like being reminded that some people think I'm not content, which in itself is a point to ponder.)
I've been thinking about this issue today, and I don't think prayers that single people wouldn't be self-pitying go far enough. We are worse off than married people think (and vice versa, I'm sure). There are certainly times when I am self-pitying, except by a flaky word like "self-pitying" I really mean "ragingly jealous of 'wanted' people and bitterly angry at people who 'don't want' me." This is idolatry. This is substituting people for God. And this is not something that marriage would fix.
Saying "don't be self-pitying or covetous" has its place, absolutely. But I want to go further than that. I want to hear the "because" statement. "May they not be self-pitying because God loves them like He loves His Son. May they not be covetous because He has promised to be a husband to the unloved (Isaiah 54). May they not be playing in mud puddles because someone is offering a trip to the seashore. May they cherish every trial because through these fires they will come forth as gold."
Do I want contentment? Absolutely. Always. In whatever circumstance. Even if that means that someday somebody rocks my safe little world and I am called into something other than the familiar single life. And I also want wisdom, and I want clarity, and I want so many, many things I feel the lack of now.
I'm often the first person in line for the self-pity train, no matter where it's going or why. Thank God He's bigger than my self-pity, and my covetousness, and my personal temptations, and my righteousness, and my knowledge, and my love, and my everything.
And thank God that truth doesn't change if you're married.
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