Just because he looks like a mild-mannered reporter....

So here we are at the gas station, on the way back to my office after lunch. I am making Jeremiah talk to me while I am standing at the pump, because pumping gas is the Most Boring Thing Ever.

From my point of view:

Voice: *mumblemumblemumble*
Jeremiah: No, I can't do that.
Voice: *mumblemumble*
Jeremiah: Well, I'm gonna be gone in...[looks at the pump to see how much gas is already in the tank]...one minute, so no.
Voice: *mumble*
Jeremiah: I already told you no. [shrugs] Sorry.

This whole time, I am wondering who Jeremiah is talking to (but I stayed hidden behind the pump 'cause I'm a wus), and if they have weapons, and if they are about to break the weapons out, and if Jeremiah will have to use his martial arts training. (He holds the rank of second-degree black belt in TaeKwon-Do.) After the conversation is over, I see two teenagers walking away.

Jeremiah: Well, that's never happened before....

From Jeremiah's point of view:

Jeremiah: I saw two guys walking right towards me, and I switched on. I didn't know what I was going to have to do....

Teenager #1: Hey, can you run inside and pick me up a single malt?
Jeremiah: No, I can't do that.
Teenager #1: Wouldn't take you two minutes.
Jeremiah: Well, I'm gonna be gone in...[looks at the pump to see how much gas is already in the tank]...one minute, so no.
Teenager #1: Come on.
Jeremiah: I already told you no. [shrugs] Sorry.

This whole time, while Teenager #2 is looking shifty, as if he didn't expect the plan to work at all, Teenager #1 is trying to intimidate Jeremiah by not breaking eye contact. (Amanda, after hearing the story: Of all the people to try that with....) Jeremiah, of course, is staring right back at him. (Jeremiah, in his head: Two can play this.)

Back in the car, Jeremiah expresses his disappointment at not getting the opportunity to beat someone up....

Jeremiah: That was a rush. That was the closest I've ever come to having to use what I've learned. [pulls down the visor and opens the mirror] Do I look 21?

(Melissa, having heard the story: Um, no offense, but, no.
Amanda: He was the wrong person to ask on so many levels!)

All in all, it was the most exciting fuel purchase I ever made.