I can't even catch up on my emails. I've tried. I sit down and begin to answer correspondence and I get through a few and run into...blankness. My writing is and always has been not just part of what I do, but part of who I am. And now those words have pulled down, deep down, and the times when they have surfaced they have sometimes felt like shrapnel pulling through me.
I don't know that I want them yet.
So many people have said, "I can't imagine what you must be feeling." In the past, some have told me that when they read what I write they feel themselves there.
I don't know that I want those two things to come together.
There is a lot about my life at this time that I want and don't want to put in writing, want and don't want to share with everyone.
I'm a woman of words and at this time words are often failing me.
(If you wrote to me and expected an answer and didn't get one, this is probably why.)
3 comments:
this is okay. if i had any authority to give you permission to be silent, i would give it. maybe you can give it to yourself, instead.
and, in being wordless, you will be with your grief, your experience, and your God in a different way, equally as true and eloquent.
rest your words. it's okay.
I love you.
Words aren't failing you. They are doing exactly what you are doing - figuring out what comes next.
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