Sunday, August 05, 2007

You might be overdoing it if...

...your story includes a sentence like "Kate sighed and closed her hazel orbs."

Just call them "eyes." As soon as you use the word "orbs" to refer to eyes you've crossed over into melodrama, or something like it. Maybe just bad writing.

Also, don't bother to call out eye color at every turn. In real life, people don't usually pay that much attention to eye color. At least this sentence didn't talk about some character's "chocolate brown eyes," which is a huge warning sign that you have stumbled across a really sappy story. Personally, I would be weirded out if somebody looked at my eyes and thought about food. Who really ever wants to hear, "I'm so attracted to you...and also, your eyes remind me of chocolate...which kind of makes me hungry, now that I think of it"? When people look into my eyes, I would much rather they think about eyes.

This has been a public service announcement to any and all aspiring authors. Thank you.

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