A whole conversation on the merits of online dating sprung up in the room where some of the wedding party gathered while Jeremiah and Dorothy were in the receiving line. Again, it's the sort of conversation that comes up more frequently as I get older. But maybe I'm paranoid. Maybe it's just because online dating is becoming more prevalent. Maybe they're not trying to imply that I've got to get on this "singleness" problem right now in whatever way I can. In all fairness, they didn't come straight out and tell me to join eHarmony. "You'll be going along minding your own business," one of the bride's attendants said, "and all of sudden...you'll just know."
This must be something that only makes sense to the people who "just know." I have never understood it. And I mean never.
When I was a little girl playing Barbies, the Ken doll would propose and Barbie would say, "I'm going to need a week or two to think about it." Barbie understood that this was a major, life-changing decision, and not one to be taken lightly.
When Wonder Woman was choosing which superhero to marry (this is the sort of thing that happens when your little brother decides he doesn't want to play Barbies with you anymore...he puts up with you dragging typical little girl storylines across toy genres), she would hesitate: "With a mask, or without a mask?" Wonder Woman didn't believe in soulmates or One True Loves.
And this was before I ever encountered a real life couple who had "just known" and then had just changed their minds.
Probably what they mean, all these people who say "you'll just know," is that it is one of those moments of knowing that reinvents everything that came before it...one of those moments, like the experience of grace, that gives you a new perspective. One of those moments that makes the years of not knowing seem insignificant.
Come to think of it, I have known my share of those.
First Sight (in Retrospect)
he was funny-looking
shallow
dull-witted
she was obnoxious
abrasive
boring
they were uncaring
fawning
impossible
you were annoyed
isolationist
self-righteous
when suddenly
laughably
the victor began rewriting history
5 comments:
Found your blog randomly one day, and have enjoyed your writing :) Had to comment though, as I'm now 26 and have totally started getting all these comments. Especially now that my much younger cousin is getting married, and I'm in the bridal party. I suppose I can expect many more *at* the actual wedding! Anywho, thought I'd say hi!
I got married when I was 30, so I understand completely. And as half of a couple that chooses to remain childless, things like the comments, the looks, and the pity don't end.
Hi, Rebecca! Thanks for dropping in. And yes. Lots of comments at the wedding. Start mental prep now.
Melissa, thanks for the super encouraging comment. I maintain that if you hate children as much as you clearly do, it's for the best if you don't have any. See, here in my world, the sarcasm doesn't end! Although I'm also full to the brim of comments and, dare I say it, looks. ;)
I am sorry to say from recent experience you can fly all the way to Zambia and still get "Have you tried the online thing?"
And I am hoping I just know because I have no idea how I will figure it out and if I sit down and think about it I will freak myself out and convience myself that there is no one I could marry. I know because I have already come quite close to this without ever being in a serious relationship. And I know enough people that "just knew" (my parents for example) that I believe it is possible.
You know me, the Happy Harbinger of Doom! bbwaahahaaa!
heehee
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