Where have all the good men gone
and where are all the gods
Where's the streetwise Hercules
to fight the rising odds
Isn't there a white knight
upon a fiery steed
Late at night I toss and turn
and dream of what I need
I need a hero
In Save the Males, Kathleen Parker argues that women are largely to blame for the scarcity of good men. Feminism started out as a protest that women are able to do many things men do, and somehow morphed into the decree that they could always do them better—"the best man for the job is a woman," as the slogan on Lois Lane's coffee mug reads in Lois & Clark.
I'm appreciating the book so far. I can't say I'm enjoying it because it paints a grim picture of the state of men in Western culture. Males have been portrayed as abusive, as stupid, as inattentive. Small boys are too rowdy, too jittery. Adult men are too obsessed with video games, too incapable of real relationships. While this might allow the other half of the species a bit of a self-esteem rush, it's also true that, for any woman paying proper attention, such a rush must be followed with a rapid descent into melancholy.
Where have all the good men gone? Is it possible that women have helped to chase them into hiding, at the very least?
To be honest, between the lines of this book I read my own culpability. I have done my share of big talking about how much smarter/more sensitive/easier to relate to women are. Of course they are often easier to relate to. They tend to think more like I do. But we weren't made to be entirely surrounded with people like ourselves. We were made to be stretched by difference.
When Adam needed a companion, God didn't bring him a drinking buddy, he brought him a wife. In this time before sin, difference was seen as marvelous, not threatening. I find it interesting that the original sin involved woman rushing ahead to do things on her own and man sitting back passively. How often throughout history has that pattern been repeated? How often have we mourned the lack of proper, godly male leadership?
I miss male companionship. I miss it like crazy. My best friend while I was growing up was my brother, and I got along wonderfully with my father, my grandfathers, my male cousins. At college, I lived in community with men and women alike, a community that wasn't affected nearly as much by the acquisition of boyfriends or girlfriends as my later life has been. Now, I live in an increasingly Amazonian world. Most of my co-workers are female. No male family members live nearby. And it has been my experience that in a non-communal setting, male friends tend to fade away after they acquire girlfriends, and virtually disappear once the girlfriends become wives.
I, like Lois Lane, tend to retreat to the rather sour grapes position that men are unneeded, and that there are no heroes left. But that's all cover. Really, I believe in capable Supermen and classy Clark Kents (again, we're talking Lois & Clark, not Smallville).
From the sparks I've seen in so many males of my acquaintance, right down to the very young, there is vast potential out there for males to rise to what they were meant to be. To them I have two things I want to say: Don't underestimate your power to encourage the other half of the species. And thank you.
and where are all the gods
Where's the streetwise Hercules
to fight the rising odds
Isn't there a white knight
upon a fiery steed
Late at night I toss and turn
and dream of what I need
I need a hero
In Save the Males, Kathleen Parker argues that women are largely to blame for the scarcity of good men. Feminism started out as a protest that women are able to do many things men do, and somehow morphed into the decree that they could always do them better—"the best man for the job is a woman," as the slogan on Lois Lane's coffee mug reads in Lois & Clark.
I'm appreciating the book so far. I can't say I'm enjoying it because it paints a grim picture of the state of men in Western culture. Males have been portrayed as abusive, as stupid, as inattentive. Small boys are too rowdy, too jittery. Adult men are too obsessed with video games, too incapable of real relationships. While this might allow the other half of the species a bit of a self-esteem rush, it's also true that, for any woman paying proper attention, such a rush must be followed with a rapid descent into melancholy.
Where have all the good men gone? Is it possible that women have helped to chase them into hiding, at the very least?
To be honest, between the lines of this book I read my own culpability. I have done my share of big talking about how much smarter/more sensitive/easier to relate to women are. Of course they are often easier to relate to. They tend to think more like I do. But we weren't made to be entirely surrounded with people like ourselves. We were made to be stretched by difference.
When Adam needed a companion, God didn't bring him a drinking buddy, he brought him a wife. In this time before sin, difference was seen as marvelous, not threatening. I find it interesting that the original sin involved woman rushing ahead to do things on her own and man sitting back passively. How often throughout history has that pattern been repeated? How often have we mourned the lack of proper, godly male leadership?
I miss male companionship. I miss it like crazy. My best friend while I was growing up was my brother, and I got along wonderfully with my father, my grandfathers, my male cousins. At college, I lived in community with men and women alike, a community that wasn't affected nearly as much by the acquisition of boyfriends or girlfriends as my later life has been. Now, I live in an increasingly Amazonian world. Most of my co-workers are female. No male family members live nearby. And it has been my experience that in a non-communal setting, male friends tend to fade away after they acquire girlfriends, and virtually disappear once the girlfriends become wives.
I, like Lois Lane, tend to retreat to the rather sour grapes position that men are unneeded, and that there are no heroes left. But that's all cover. Really, I believe in capable Supermen and classy Clark Kents (again, we're talking Lois & Clark, not Smallville).
From the sparks I've seen in so many males of my acquaintance, right down to the very young, there is vast potential out there for males to rise to what they were meant to be. To them I have two things I want to say: Don't underestimate your power to encourage the other half of the species. And thank you.
2 comments:
Why so down on Smallville lately
Mostly I'm frustrated by the increasing popular culture equation of love with primarily wanting to make out. It degrades men (and, by extension, women) to have that lack of self-control held up as normal and healthy. So, I'm emphasizing my CK preferences...classy and patient and focused over self-absorbed and hormonally driven.
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