Whenever I go to visit my grandmother, she's always trying to give me things. She will buy extra food so that I can take it home. She will rummage through closets for a sweater I can wear and then tell me I can keep that, too. She pays for lunches and dinners and show tickets and whatnot.
Her daughter, my mom, is like this as well. My mom likes to shop at Goodwill (or Kohl's, or most anywhere there's a bargain advertised), and she's constantly picking up things that remind her of me. She rarely comes to visit without a bag full of things she has for me to look at or a basket of laundry she's done for me. She'll send me home with food almost every time I go visit my parents.
I used to brush these things off. "No, Grandma, I don't need that pudding." "Mom, I can't think of anything I could possibly ever want from that store." Why should I make them spend their money on me when I didn't even need anything? But eventually one day I realized from their disappointed expressions that what they wanted me to say was something more like, "Thank you for thinking of me. I will accept the food/clothing/random gift you are offering me because what it is to you is not just a thing, it's a way of showing love. And if accepting graciously is me loving you and not me taking advantage of you, that's what I will do." (Okay, they didn't really want me to say all that. But that's the gist of it, I think.)
This last time I visited my grandmother, it hit me: God is like her and my mom. He doesn't want me to stand back saying I have everything I need and couldn't possibly want anything else, thanks anyway. He wants me coming to him like a child. And one of the things children do is ask you for things without thinking about if it's proper for them to do so, or if you have the time, or the resources, or the desire to grant the request.
God's not like me. He doesn't worry about whether or not our relationship is balanced, whether or not we're giving equally or loving each other equally (and all praise to Him for that!). He is not hesitant about blessing me beyond all I could ask or imagine, whether I ask for it or not. But I think He wants me to imagine good things, the best things I can, and to ask for those; and to wait with my eyes closed and my hands held out, expecting to get what I asked for or better.
He's not the God of second-best or of disappointing results. It's high time I stopped living like He was.
"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. Or what man is there among you who, when his son asks for a loaf, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, he will not give him a snake, will he? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him!" (Matthew 7:7-11)
2 comments:
This is good, Suzanne. We've all heard that it is more blessed to give than to receive without thinking about being the receivee and letting the "other" be the blessed giver.
You know, I have similar encounters with my grandma and this really helps me see how to act towards her and towards God. Thanks for writing that, it's something I needed.
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