"You are the storm that calmed my soul"

I am taking my life into my own hands by posting during a thunderstorm. At least, as much as I can take my life into my own hands. Which is, mercifully, not at all.

Throughout history, the sound of thunder has reminded people of the voice of the Lord. Now, I know that thunder is the sound made when air is super-heated and expands rapidly, blah, blah, blah, long involved explanation that doesn't inspire me at all (although I'm sure meteorologists can see the glory of God in ways I can't, because I know my brother gets excited about the glory of God when he is studying molecular pathways). But all of that scientific explanation--it's not what thunder is, but only what it is made of, to paraphrase C.S. Lewis. And heavy rain and loud thunder remind me of the power of God. Even when the thunder is loud and scares me. Maybe more then, because it reminds me that this isn't a cuddly God, but one with deadly serious power. And this is the God who calls me His child. So sometimes thunderstorms can be scary, but somehow they are a comforting scary.

God is so good. This weekend I had a really great conversation with a friend, and I had opportunities to speak up in the youth group meeting, and at both times I was able to speak from the wisdom God has given me through some of the trials He has sent into my life. In the first case, as the conversation ended my friend said, "It's good to know I'm not the only one who feels like this." And I hung up and this bit from Esther was running through my head: "Perhaps it was for this very hour...." God knows why everything happens to me, and it's discipline. Unlike running, which is a discipline I've imposed on myself with a clear goal (to be able to go running with my dad someday and not make him stop every 30 seconds), God's purposes in times of rigorous discipline are not always clear to me. Maybe not often clear. But there are purposes, and He will send ways for me to use the "spiritual muscles" that this training is developing.

But as Susan Felch reminded us today in Sunday School, the Christian life isn't about making progress down a road ("today I am more spiritual than I was yesterday!"). It is about waking up every morning and starting from the same place (nowhere, in and of ourselves), and putting on the same clothes (the armor belonging to God and given to us), and proceeding in complete dependence on God every day. We don't gain self-sufficiency through growth in our faith, we gain God. A far greater gain!

I don't know if this post is coherent. It's late, and I'm tired, and I'm happy because I got more than my daily quota of hugs, which hardly ever happens because I live alone and one of the mega-downsides of living alone is that you pretty much have no physical contact. (This is rough on a touchy-feely theatre type who grew up in a family where on most days going more than an hour without a hug would have been a long time.) And the things that were bothering me so much this afternoon don't really seem important now, which reminds me that the same thing is true on a broader scale, for bigger problems than the laundry machine not working. And I need reminders, because I'm a forgetful person.

I'm still talking.

But God is good! It is always hard to stop talking about it when you really get going!