Financially, I'm okay on unemployment for a while. Do I take the first job that comes along (obviously I haven't, but the first job that comes along after I catch my breath), even if my heart is sinking, or do I hold out, knowing as I do that few job descriptions sound exciting to me?
I'm not ready to go back to work. There it is. I feel like I should feel worse about that, but I don't want to be back in an office.
I'm afraid of being trapped for years doing something that doesn't excite me, or of job-hopping in the hopes of finding something I enjoy (one of those things I internally mocked other people for...figures I'd understand it eventually). I'm afraid of getting a job and finding the environment is as tense as it was at my old place of employment for the past year or so. I'm afraid of picking Door #1 when I should have waited for Door #2, or passing on Door #2 when it turns out there is not Door #3. I'm afraid of leaving a job on purpose more than I am of being laid off, of finding something better a week after I found a job (this happened to me last time).
Pause. Collect yourself. You're going to have to go back into the trenches sooner or later. Settle. Prepare.
"Are the agencies going to start hating me for being picky?"
ReplyDeleteYes, in my experience even though they won't admit it after they offered me ONE job and I turned it down whenever I talked to them they said nothing was available. But this for general factory labor, not office work.