Counseling

Sometimes I wonder what I would have wanted to be when I grew up if I hadn't wasted imagination on a hypothetical marriage. (At this stage of my life, I do not regret the marriage-that-might-have-been, but I do regret putting myself in a holding pattern waiting for what a Calvin professor once called "the prince in pink tights.")

Lately, I've been thinking about counseling, about how I have family in the field and how many people are hurting and how many counselors in my area are men and.... Well, I am sure there are many, many wise men who do not say things like I was told in my one and only counseling appointment I went to, back when I was in the middle of a depression--something along the lines of "I hope you don't mind me saying so, but you're a beautiful woman, and you might try wearing a little make-up because that makes a big difference to a woman." (Actually, I DO mind, I'm just not saying anything because I'm in shock that you as a counselor have never had any training on how thin the line is between compliments and sexual harassment when you're talking to an emotionally vulnerable person behind closed doors.)

Today the Harvest secretary sent out a link to a counseling certification program that opens in mid-September, and it takes a full year and it would be another evening out of my already crazy busy schedule and the year has been So Full and what would I do with a certification, anyway, really, and by no means do I have it all together myself, and....

I still find myself intrigued.

Acronym Epiphany

It has been a bit of a rough year. This week, I was talking to somebody about fear and anxiety, and what "I am" statements I could use to counteract them. I realized that "God is" statements were effective only if I applied them, owned them for myself, and so I came up with these:

1) I am safe.

2) I am useful.

3) I am protected.

4) I am loved.

That night, I had a highly detailed anxiety dream, mostly centered around me having to give a presentation shortly and realizing that I was still wearing my pajamas and was too far from home to go change. My mom and I rushed to a store to find something, and found several things in my color range. But then, when I went to try them on, I looked in the mirror and what I was wearing already looked more professional. I was already more prepared than I had realized.

Which made five:

5) I am prepared.

Being the word nerd that I am, I quickly realized that I could remember all of these with an anagram:

SUPPLe

Now, that is a word that I haven't used much (or at all) due to finding it vaguely creepifying, so I looked it up to see what exactly it meant. 

As an adjective, the first set of definitions (courtesy of merriam-webster.com) were:

A. Compliant, often to the point of obsequiousness
B. Readily adaptable or responsive to new situations

Riiiight. 

Then I read further. "Supple" is also a verb that can mean to make peaceful, to calm and heal, to make flexible.

Behind all of my "I am" statements is the I AM, and He keeps me safe, useful, protected, prepared, and loved.

Eternally.

Call and Response

Jesus tells a parable about a man checking in on his property by sending representatives, all of whom the tenants abuse in various ways (some are even killed). When the owner sends his son to them, the tenants kill him, too. 

I have read this parable a lot, but I have not really noticed this part before (Luke 20:15-16): "What then will the owner of the vineyard do to them? He will come and destroy those tenants and give the vineyard to others.” When they heard this, they said, “Surely not!”"

That cry of "surely not" is chilling, because it shows that the people who heard the parable knew what it meant. They knew it was telling them not to trust their ethnic heritage to keep them in the land of promise and in favor with God. Paul would write later that "not all who are descended from Israel belong to Israel" (Rom. 9:6).

"Surely not" implies that the owner does not have the right to administer his land as he sees fit, that everything is just fine, that rumors of the need for repentance have been greatly exaggerated.

"Surely not" is the cry of someone who has already decided that the owner's wishes are not of primary importance.

Let those of us who claim the Name keep a close eye on our gut reactions to his words.